4 Tips for Better Converastions

Ever heard the term it's not what you say but how you say it? It seems that the old proverb is right most of what you say it's even predicated on the words that come to your mouth. Not to say that what you don't say isn't important cause it is. However, most of what makes you an engaging and effective conversationalist is everything else about you we tend to not only speak with our voices but also with our bodies and attitudes. 

Here are some tips to make you a better conversationalist: 

1. Don't Correct Yourself- Many people when they are telling a story they tend to talk like if they were writing on a computer using control z. Constantly editing their story as they go, while that may work great for writing it's a terrible way to tell a story to someone. This sounds something like this "Well the other day I was going to the store with my brother in law" no wait "It wasn't the store it was hair salon". "Then a car crashed another in front of us" Uhmm "No, it was actually a van not a car". You get the idea right? The point is to not change the focus on every sentence even if you aren't one hundred percent sure just keep going it's better for the story to flow then you losing the focus of your listener 
2. Slow down- Most of the time we want to say something but aren't too sure and that's when we start saying verbatim that includes such words as, " Uhhm, Like, Kinda, Sorta" These words come off as unprofessional and uncertain which come from a lack of not knowing what to say. If you are unsure of something just pause for a moment this will let you catch your thoughts to be able to come up with a more coherent answer. You will also come out more certain when you exclude such words out of your vocabulary. 
3. Correct Posture- Don't put your arms in your pockets ,don't fiddle with your hair, don't slouch and definitely don't cross your arms. All these postures can give the listener a perception that you don't care,paying attention or that you're not open to ideas. Even if they aren't calling you on it or aren't aware of it it consciously their subconscious definitely can pick it up. So instead stand straight and keep your arms mid body in front of you with your hands in a neutral state but grabbed on to each other. This posture is the best as it doesn't give a perception or laziness, anxiousness or closeness to your listener. 
4. Listen and Ask Questions-  The most important part is to listen actively and ask questions that will engage the person you are talking to. This well let them know that you care for them and that you are generally interested.